By Catherinette Singleton

If you’re like most people, you’re probably nursing a pretty bad case of the cocktail flu (hangover) this morning.  Ahh, the sweet sweet joys of New Year’s Day.  There we all were last night celebrating the coming new year, drinking cheap champagne, and making all those resolutions to make our lives better. 

The New Year’s resolution: our chance to do something differently in hopes that life will be better in the new year.  I find that the second I make one, I find myself breaking it on New Year’s Day.  Let’s take that resolution to lose 20 pounds - that’s pretty much out the window when I inhale a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, 4 donuts, a 2 liter of Coke, and some leftover Christmas cookies on New Year’s Day.  I usually don’t make resolutions, but I’ve decided to give them another go.  This time, however, it’s going to be different.  I can just feel it. 

I’m not going to fool myself into believing that I’m actually going to lose 20 pounds, or go to the gym 5 days a week, or find a new job, or clean my bathroom every week, or go back to get my Master’s degree, or stop mocking people.  Instead, I’m going to focus my resolutions on dating.

Those of you that are regular readers know that I have some pretty awful luck when it comes to dating.  If I’m not busy making a bad decision that ends up with a make out session in a yellow Mustang, then it’s making a bad decision that ends up with me in tears and my now ex-boyfriend sending me a nasty email message on how he thinks I’m the unhealthiest person he’s ever met, emotionally and physically.  I know, I know, I’ve picked some winners in the past.  Well, that’s all about to change thanks to my 3 resolutions:

1. Dating.Com: I don’t tend to meet a lot of men at work anymore, at least not since I vowed to stop dating coworkers.  Most of my friends are married, and they never have any available hot single men to introduce me to.  Instead, I find that I hang my hopes on some random encounter when I’m out on the weekends.  I’ve had little luck with this.  I’ve taken a stab at online dating, but haven’t really taken it seriously.  It’s about time I caught up with the rest of the world.  I’m signing up for a minimum of 6 months with one of the big online dating services.  I’m going to write that kick ass profile (really I’m just going to dust it off because it’s already pretty kick ass), find those cute pics, and I’m going to date at least one person a month.  If it doesn’t work out, at least you all will have a wonderful story to read.

2. Snap Judgements: It’s probably a shocker to believe, but I’m quick to judge.  I know within the first 5 seconds if I’m willing to give someone a shot.  In some cases, I end up with losers (like the one that lied to me about being single, bedded me, and then sent me a Christmas card informing me that he had had a girlfriend when we were busy knocking boots).  We can also assume that I’m probably letting some good ones slip through my fingers.  As of today, I’m saying no to the 5 second rule.  It no longer applies to men, only to food that’s fallen on the floor. 

3. Make Out Sessions in Cars: I’m voting no on this one.  Thinking back over the last 2 years, I can’t think of a single make out session in a parked car that ended up with anything more than blog fodder.  Sure, it makes for a good story, but I have to live with knowing that I made out in a bar parking lot with some tool that owns a muscle car.  That’s just shameful!!  From now on, unless we’re parked outside my house at the end of a promising date and he’s going to be coming in the house for some “coffee”, I’m not making out in cars anymore.  Unless the guy is really hot and is gainfully employed.

What’s your New Year’s dating resolution?

 
http://www.catherinette.com

January 1st, 2009 | Tags: catherinette singleton, catherinette.com, dating, kismeet, kismet, kissing, kizmeet, love, missed connection website, missed connections, relationships blog, romance, sex | Category: Catherinette | Comments (8)

Happy New Year Kizmeet Fans!

Did you have any missed connections?  Visit Kizmeet to see if it’s kismet!  Post and read missed connections in your neighborhood.

January 1st, 2009 | Tags: 1, 2, 3, destiny, happy new year, kismet, kizmeet.com, missed connection website | Category: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

By Miss Model Behavior

1.      Any kind of MP3 player that is not an Apple.

2.      That guy you run into with a puzzled look on your face, (because you still can’t remember how or why you met) who you enjoy calling while wasted post 3 am. Delete that number.

3.      Anyone in your phone without a real name. This includes ‘The Turk,’ ‘Hamlet,’ ‘Joey,’ ‘Frosted tips from Cain,’ (frosted tips!?!?), ‘Marquee Scarf,’ ‘Pete#%&^R’ and ‘Jonathan Hockey.’

4.      Anyone whose voice you wouldn’t recognize because they’ve never actually called you, just run up your text messaging plan unnecessarily with endless sexual correspondence that could’ve been taken care of in a two minute phone call. They’re clearly not interested and neither are you.

5.      Anyone whose general facial features you can’t envision. 

6.      Any gifts received in 2008 or before from exes. eBay enables these objects to have great resale value. In economy downtrodden 2009, retail should trump shattered sentiment.

7.      Frenemies (friends you actually hate and are brutally competitive with) and Fromoters (friends incurring serious damage to your liver by guilting you into partying all the time to finance their life as someone paid to bring people to clubs no one wants to go to anymore.)

8.      Any ‘toxic’ relationship in addition to those above, i.e. anything that causes you to drink, cry or take extra kickboxing classes.

9.      The verbally abusive relationship sometimes confused as ‘sexual tension.’

10.

 Any bad business relationships. Remember when you’re erasing the white board of your life, you should do so in totality, not just with your personal stuff. The client that still hasn’t paid you, the coworker who always stares at your nipples, your boss that always forgets their wallet – stop playing nice. The holidays (and holiday bonuses/gift giving quotients) are over.

December 31st, 2008 | Tags: boyfriend, dating blog, girlfriend, love blog, miss model behavior, missmodelbehavior.com, New York City, nyc, relationships, romance blog, self absorbed me, selfabsorbed.me, sex blog | Category: MissModelBehavior | Comments (2)

By Lisa B in Da City
 

It’s the Saturday night before Christmas, and we are leaving for our trip out West tomorrow morning. We have dropped Ally da Pup off at her pet sitter’s and are heading home. We have done everything on our never-ending-to-do-list and are ready to go on our vacation. We are congratulating ourselves on a job well done. HCFG gets an “unknown caller” on his cell phone and ignores it, assuming it’s a telemarketer.

We get inside and I have a message from an unknown caller too. I call my voicemail and hear a computer generated voice.

“Hello, this is Ruin-your-long-awaited-holiday-plans-Airlines. We have just cancelled your flight. Please call this number as soon as possible to reschedule your travel.”

“Sh*t! Honey, our flight just got cancelled.”

“What? It’s two days after the storm; I didn’t think the snow was still that bad!”

“I’m calling the number they gave me right now… Wonderful! They say at least a 30 minute wait.”

As you can imagine we were less than thrilled. After 45 minutes on hold, someone picked up. HCFG handled it while I sat nearby. He travels a lot on business so he stayed very calm. After a fairly long discussion, our flight was rescheduled to leave 3 days later, on Christmas Eve. There was literally so much chaos due to the storm that that was the earliest we could get out. With very little choice, he booked the flight. He then had to call his family and give them the bad news we were not arriving the next day. They were disappointed but understood. Meanwhile I was on my cell phone, cancelling our ride to the airport, calling the pet sitter to tell her we were picking Ally back up tomorrow, and letting various people who needed to know that our plans had changed.

After we finished our phone calls we were exhausted. And numb. It was such a letdown. We had gotten everything accomplished and we were already in “vacation mode.” As much as we love New York, we were ready to get out of town. It was especially hard on HCFG since he hadn’t seen his family in a while, and was really looking forward to being with them. Not to mention introducing me! His parents had planned a big welcome for us into their home and now it was postponed.

We were drained. And quite bummed as well.

“You know what Honey? Let’s just play hooky the next few days until we leave. We both need a pick-me-up. Let’s go see some of the new movies, relax and do exactly what we want. I don’t want to work until we have to, ok?”

“That sounds perfect.”

So that’s what we did.

And yes, we finally got away. We almost missed our flight connection in scenic Cleveland but that’s another story!

http://www.lisabindacity.com/

December 30th, 2008 | Tags: advice, christmas plans, dating, family, HCFG, Lisa B in Da City, lisabindacity.com, Los Angeles, love, love of your ilfe, New York City, relationship blog, reomance, sex | Category: LisaBinDaCity | Comments (9)

By Catherinette Singleton
 
My standard response when asked what’s on my Christmas wish list has become, “I want a man.”  Everyone just chuckles, and says, “No.  Really.  What do you want?” The fact is, I don’t really need anything.  My house is full of knick knacks, I can’t possibly fit another serving bowl in the pantry, and if someone gives me one more scented candle I will throw it at them.  Please don’t even get me started on the blank photo albums. 

What I really want, more than anything, is to wake up on Christmas morning and find my future (husband?) sitting underneath the Christmas tree.

My grandmother was a devout Catholic.  There was a period in her life when she went to church every day.  She raised my mother and my uncle to believe the teachings that she held so close to her heart.  My mother hated being dragged to church and having those beliefs shoved down her throat.  While my mother never attends church services, she still considers herself to be Catholic.  When she enters a church, she will find the holy water, cross herself, and always lights a candle for the memory of my grandmother.  When my sister and I were born, she decided that she would take a different route.  Instead of choosing a religion for us, she allowed us to determine what we wanted for ourselves. 

When I was younger, I tried to find a religion that fit me.  I joined an Episcopalian youth group.  I attended the Seder with my Jewish stepfather.  Nothing ever felt right.  It always felt like I was wearing someone else’s clothing.  They just didn’t fit right.  For me, the right choice with religion was no religion at all.  I do not believe in God or the devil.  I don’t believe in heaven or hell, or the 7 deadly sins.  I only go to church/synagogue for weddings, or funerals.

There is one thing, however, that I do believe in.  That one thing is love. 

As children, we’re told a slew of fairy tales of prince charming, the damsel in distress, true love, etc.  We’re convinced that Prince Charming, clad in armor will show up on his trusty white steed to sweep us off our feet and we’ll ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.  That we can bring that sleeping damsel back to life with true love’s kiss.  I know those things don’t exist.  I know that there will never be a white horse, a prince, or a ride into the sunset.  But I do believe that there’s someone out there that’s right for me.  For better or for worse, I have faith that he’s out there waiting for me. 

Anyone that has a religion questions his faith at least once in his lifetime.  I have my own questions about love.  And I have doubts sometimes.  Where is he?  Why haven’t we found one another?  Is there such thing as a soul mate?  Will it last forever?

The answers don’t matter.  What matters is the belief that there is someone out there.  I have faith in that.  Whether it lasts a lifetime or not doesn’t matter.  What’s important is finding a match that will make my life better.  That person that makes me catch my breath.  That makes my knees buckle when he kisses me.  The one whose body I can mold into. 

I choose to believe.  I have faith that he’s out there.

This Christmas, no matter what your religious beliefs, I wish one thing for you: may you find (at least once in your lifetime) that person that makes your toes curl, your heart beat faster, and your cheeks flash.  May you find your happily ever after.

http://www.catherinette.com

December 25th, 2008 | Tags: catherinette singleton, catherinette.com, dating, kismeet, kismet, kissing, kizmeet, love, missed connection website, missed connections, relationships blog, romance, sex | Category: Catherinette | Comments (4)

By Miss Model Behavior
 
Newsflash: You can handle your love life like hostile business merger.

It’s almost 2009, and Facebook, snapfish, aSmallWorld and MySpace have increased dating complexity to the point of absurdity. These days it’s more about text message finesse, emoticons and online stalking than face time. More relationships fail, and fail quickly, thanks to the fast-paced, ‘I want it now’ society in which we live.

The result?

We’re overly cautious, terrified of true intimacy. That’s why when you find someone you want to explore more than a text-message relationship with, just considering a future with them can induce an anxiety attack.

Good news: You don’t have to take the terrifying plunge and ‘see where it goes’ approach. I’m hearing more and more stories about people negotiating romantic relationship terms up front. The conversations go something like this:

Girl: I really like you, but dating is just too stressful. You’re always worrying about where it will go. Wondering if every time you see each other will prove to be the last.

Boy: K, let’s make a deal that we’ll have sex five times for sure and then see where it goes from there.

Girl: Five’s too short let’s make it fifteen.

Boy: Ten.

Girl: Deal.

OR

Girl: I can only get physically intimate with men unless I’m in a committed relationship.

Boy: Honestly, I’m not in long-term commitment type of mode.

Girl: How about short-term commitment mode.

Boy: Like six months.

Girl: Even three months.

Boy: Deal!

You can also negotiate additional terms like vacation clauses, out of area / zip code allowances for cheating etc.

Go wild!

Type it up if you have to. Apparently, the enormity of all our tech-heavy failed relationships has resulted in us needing relationship contracts in order to let loose.

Now let’s not forget that contracts get broken every day, yet just the exercise of parsing through all the issues that come up in faux negotiation can clarify a lot before you’re head-over-heels in lust too quickly, and things end badly with you hate-mailing their Facebook wall. 

 
http://www.selfabsorbed.me/

December 24th, 2008 | Tags: boyfriend, dating blog, girlfriend, love blog, miss model behavior, missmodelbehavior.com, New York City, nyc, relationships, romance blog, self absorbed me, selfabsorbed.me, sex blog | Category: MissModelBehavior | Leave a comment

By Lisa B in Da City
   

We spoke in hushed quiet tones…

“Babe, look at that.”

“That is so beautiful.”

“It’s absolutely magical, I feel like it was created just for us.”

Several hours earlier…

My building is endowed with an over-efficient boiler. It’s only a few years old and really does its job. Translation? My building is always hot. Africa hot. We all complain about it, and there is absolutely nothing that can be done except turn the whole damn thing off. Which would be fine for my ilk, but all the little old ladies living here would have a fit. Trust me on that one. My radiators have been closed since I’ve lived here. Despite that, there is still a lot of heat rising from the floors below me, and my windows are always open in the winter. Ally da Pup sleeps next to the fan to cool off. HCFG who is warm-blooded (yummy!) has been known to ask that the air conditioning be turned on when it’s 30 degrees outside.

Tonight was another one of those nights. HCFG requested the air conditioner but I resisted. He opened the bedroom window instead. My apartment faces another building and everything was dark. We were half asleep when some lights came on.

My neighbor had turned on the lights on her Christmas tree. And there were no other lights anywhere. Her small tree was lined up just perfectly, to shine through her window and into ours, so it lit up our room like a magical fairy tale.

It was absolutely enchanting. What a gift to realize that such a small thing could bring so much pleasure.

Hope your holidays are just as special and bright!

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and Kwanzaa greetings from Lisa B., HCFG, and Ally da Pup.

 
http://www.lisabindacity.com

December 23rd, 2008 | Tags: advice, break up, dating, HCFG, Lisa B in Da City, lisabindacity.com, Los Angeles, love, love of your ilfe, relationship blog, reomance, sex | Category: LisaBinDaCity | Comments (6)

By Adventures of Now

I sit here in my warm apartment and watch heavy snow fall from my window.  Weather reports say negative four and storms on the way.  This might be perfect timing with a romantic poetry paper to write and several finals to do — on a day like today, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere but this cozy room.

However, with deadlines on my mind, I’ve found any type of distraction I could possibly find.  Last night I went to Johny O’s bar on University.  That’s the thing you gotta know about this school, certain nights entail certain things.  You know if you are going out on Thursday night, head straight to Johny O’s to ensure you’ll see everyone you’ve learned to love or hate in the past four years.  All of your past hook-ups will be buying new girls shots, but certainly texting you at bar time.  The girl you became instant BFF with the first week of freshman year will give you a guaranteed awkward wave.  And of course the people you did want to see that night, but actually forgot to call, will be floating around somewhere.  Again, my feelings remain indifferent.  I feel like I’m in “Groundhog’s Day” and I can’t tell if I want to escape it or embrace it.

So last night was it.  After six drinks too many and waking up in my cranberry vodka stained dress, I need to come to terms with the reality of finals.  Now I’m back to the place I should’ve been last night.  Back to studying material that might as well be in French, because to me it seems absolutely incomprehensible.  Studying material I won’t remember three days from now let alone three years from now.  Is this teaching?  Studying to memorize without grasping the concept?    

Just one more week. Then I’m back to sunglasses, sandals and of course, affordable suntan beds!

http://AdventuresofNow.WordPress.com

December 19th, 2008 | Tags: AdventuresofNow, bar hopping, college dating, college life, college love, dancing, los angeles is home, love, love in los angeles, loving los angeles, madison wisconsin, moving to los angeles, relationship advice, relationships, romantic, schoo romance, sex, university of winsconsin | Category: AdventuresofNow | Leave a comment

By Catherinette Singleton

Last week we started discussing the ups and many downs of dating a coworker.  Sure, there are benefits to being able to swoon at work over your new significant other.  There are also the drawbacks of having to see them if the relationship falls apart.  Nothing like trying to hold back your tears in a meeting with him and the rest of the office the day after you’ve been dumped for the new girl in the cafeteria.  

Some of you might not be swayed by the heartache, public humiliation, and potential joblessness that may be a result of a tawdry romp in the copy room with that hotty hot new employee that knows how to wear his suit just right.  If you decide that your coworker is just too good to pass up, here are some things you’ll want to take into consideration before proceeding:

1. Are you both on the same page?  Sometimes you’re not quite sure what the other person is thinking.  Is he asking you out because he wants to get to know you better and potentially pursue something more?  Or is he asking you out because you look hot in that skirt and he wants to see it crumbled up in a heap on his bedroom floor?  Dating can be hard enough; it’s even more difficult at work.  If you’re taking the leap, you better be sure that you both are very clear on what you both want.  Communication is key here.  If you jump into this and one of you wants something more than the other, it can make your work life a living hell.  Go ahead and try to get your project completed when the one you’ve spurned is the one responsible for delivering some of the key information that you need.  Let me know how that turns out.

2. Loose lips sink ships.  I’m a girl.  I have a big mouth.  So big that the free world knows about it when I have a new love interest.  This doesn’t work in the office.  The last thing that your boss wants to hear is that you just slept over at your coworker’s for the first time and he made you breakfast.  What do you think your boss is going to start wondering the next time he sees you talking to him by the water cooler?  “Are they getting their work done or are they too busy playing grab ass?” that’s what your boss is thinking.  Until you know the status of the relationship, keep it to yourselves.  That means that you need to:

3. Validate your coworker can keep a secret. There’s a young man that works in my office who is divine.  He is truly a gift from God and one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.  He uses his good looks and charm to get into the pants of all the good looking new girls.  How do I know?  Because he can’t keep his mouth shut.  Know the sad part?  These girls don’t know that he’s running off his mouth about how they all moaned his name at one point or other.  I’m sure they’ll have a wonderful time trying to get promoted when their boss is too busy picturing them in flagrante with this “gentlemen.”  These girls were too swept away by his charms to do their homework.  As fiery hot as this guy is, I wouldn’t touch him with a 10-foot pole because I don’t want it broadcast to everyone in the office. 

4. Perception is critical.  It can be very difficult to establish yourself as a credible professional in your organization.  It doesn’t matter whether you did something or not.  What matters is what other people - especially those that have the power to dictate the future of your career - believe that you did.  Is it BS?  Sure it is, but guess what?  That’s too bad.  It’s the way things are and you, along with everyone else, has to learn to deal with it.  All of this gets so foggy when you find someone that you want to be with.  You have to keep this in the back of your mind: if the coworker walks away, what are you left with and what are people going to think about you? 

Dating is always risky business.  If it wasn’t, then there wouldn’t be Romeo and Juliet; Pride & Prejudice; Bridget Jones; blah, blah, etc. snore. The key point to remember is that when you date someone you work with you are potentially risking your career and/or your professional appearance.  In some cases, it’s worth the risk.  I have plenty of friends that met their spouses at work.  I also have plenty of friends that have found themselves cleaning up a sorry mess after a relationship with a coworker went straight into the toilet.

Consider yourselves warned.

What else do you think is important to consider before getting involved with a coworker?

http://www.catherinette.com

December 18th, 2008 | Tags: catherinette singleton, catherinette.com, dating, hooking up, hooking up wht a coworker, kismeet, kismet, kissing, kizmeet, love, missed connection website, missed connections, relationships blog, romance, sex with coworker | Category: Catherinette | Comments (7)