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Why Is It Woman Do Not Approach Men?
Is it only in Toronto that women are old fashion and they do not approach men? I do understand that most women are shy and preferred to be hunted, but I also think some men are also shy just when it comes to breaking the ice. I think men automatically assume that a woman who is hot has a boyfriend and they do not even bother approaching her because rejection is guranteed. I also think there is much more pressure on a man approaching a good lookig lady then there is a woman approaching a handsome man. Maybe women would have a better chance finding their husband if they would just say hi, flash their hair, wink...something. I find that woman are intimidated by a man who looks serious, and even if they think he is hot they will just walk on by and not say anything. I believe that we judge individuals too often and thus allowing perfect opportunities to pass by. Personally I think I am a very attractive man but woman do not give me the time of day because I have been told I look to serious.....thanks I needed to get that off my chest.
 
Computer Guy April 03, 2007 08:17AM

43 comments
All I can say to that is: hear, hear!

Trev April 03, 2007 09:59PM
I know this sounds old fashioned, but I was thinking about your question, and I think sometimes girls don't approach guys because they don't want to be thought of as a hussy!

mintyfresh April 04, 2007 10:42AM
I was thinking the same thing but in reverse. I have given the smile and hair flick and have gotten smiles back but no approach is this because I am expected to approach these guys, sorry I can give you the in but I will not make the first move. I guess this is why they call it the dating game.

Natrix April 04, 2007 11:38AM
 
Is the reason you won't make the first move because of what I wrote (about not being seen as easy?)

mintyfresh April 04, 2007 11:46AM
 
Yes that is part of it and I usually do not know what to say

Natrix April 04, 2007 01:35PM
Ladies,

I have to admit that I am kind of shy to approach women, and it's not because I am ugly(not being cocky just confident). I do not know why but I guess it is a fear of rejection. Minty Fresh I agree that a woman approaching a man may seem like the woman is a hussy, but I think it is how the approach is done. I don't even need a woman to approach me just give me a signal. But the origional question I asked are women intimidated by a man who does not smile a lot? Is that a deciding factor if you send the signal?

Computer Guy April 04, 2007 09:50PM
 
well, i'm not sure. can you give me a specific scenario? did such an encounter happen recently?

mintyfresh April 05, 2007 12:03AM
 
Happens to me everyday that women stare at me but keep on walking. You see you are stuck between a rock and a hard place because you’re not sure if that is the signal, they are just looking at you...or what. I am a chicken *&^%$ when it comes to approaching ladies. Funny thing is hotties will not approach men because they know they are hot so why should they have to do it. My downfall is I am attracted to ambitious, intelligent, well dressed hotties, but for the life of me I cannot approach them. I think woman should be friendlier and just say hi...it won't hurt. That one little hi could do wonders if they only knew. I think everyday we are judged on our nationality, colour, religion, way we dress. I think society in a whole automatically perceives people based on the above. I think that is not cool because that man who you judged i.e. (not smiling) could have been your potential husband.

Computer Guy April 05, 2007 07:58AM
 
Computer guy a smile goes a long way, if I got up the nerve to approach a man that I was interested in I would only do so if he smiled at me.

Natrix April 05, 2007 01:56PM
 
I agree. And, a smile- particularly if it's genuine- doesn't have to be a pick-up. it can just be a friendly smile- the woman can take it in lots of ways- that you are nice, that you are interested, that you are able to find things to smile about. it's kind of funny that there's another topic on here about smiling- the "I can't stand it" one. who knew that smiling was so controversial?

mintyfresh April 06, 2007 02:50PM
Hey Computer Guy,

I am in the category of your downfall, lol.

I am smart and funny which is a unique combination.

You can practice "meeting" me anytime.

whirliegirl April 08, 2007 09:44AM
I am glad I came across your posting...I think that everyday...that person I am afraid of approaching could have been my husband...hmm good way to put it from a guys point of view...now the guy I am wanting to approach at a local store, I might just have nerves to approach. Instead of posting ads hoping he will see it...I could just get it out the way, until then I will wonder everyday if he was the right one.

ShrtSandra83 October 05, 2007 05:49PM
You should give a signal back so that she knows you are interested, otherwise, if you dont make a move, she will definately be turned off.

ShrtSandra83 October 05, 2007 05:46PM
hmmm, ok whirliegirl how do I go about practicing on you?

Computer Guy April 09, 2007 07:48AM
Ping me!


whirliegirl April 09, 2007 08:27PM
 
Hey what does ping me stand for? Ping to me in the Computer world means something totally different. Please explain?

Computer Guy April 10, 2007 08:47AM
 
Dumb it down a bit, Computer Guy.

"ping" means "contact"

I am also a computer nerd. Doh!

whirliegirl April 10, 2007 11:12AM
 
Ok whirliegirl, it has been a long day for me and I have not had lunch. Correct me if I am wrong but how do I contact u without any contact info? How does one go about contacting someone on the "Mouth Off Forum" without putting their info out there?

Computer Guy April 10, 2007 01:42PM
 
You can email me at krusty at dodgeit dot com.

whirliegirl April 15, 2007 04:35PM
If you 2 hit it off, you'd better write about it!

mintyfresh April 09, 2007 11:57PM
There's a small percentage of women that would make the 1st movement letting men know that they want to start-up with something. Females who wants men to make the 1st movement are either shy or cocky.

arcelo April 10, 2007 07:40AM
 
I'd guess that'd be in the 3%-5% range though.

Trev April 12, 2007 04:44PM
I totally agree Arcelo.....

Computer Guy April 10, 2007 08:48AM
arcelo-- shy or cocky or have previous experience making the first move. most of us learned the hard way that there's no better way to get something started on the wrong foot than by making the first move. things are just "off". i have come to believe that men like to *think* that they like girls who make the first move, but really men and women both are still not 100% comfortable with the shift in the dynamic.

zxcvbnm April 14, 2007 09:15PM
I honestly think that when I make eye contact a few times with a guy and he doesn't do anything that means he doesn't care so I ignore it. Why go up to him if he obviously doesn't care to talk to me. Right?

hmmm April 21, 2007 01:27AM
 
Don't you think men feel the same way when we make eye contact first? There's still plenty of times where one or both sides are misreading the situation, and then nobody makes a move.

Maybe there needs to be a universal signal to let the initiator know he has a green light to proceed.

Trev April 21, 2007 08:51AM
 
Agreed. Or maybe we all need to just stop worrying so much about the other person saying no. I mean whats the worst that can happen?

hmmm April 21, 2007 09:59PM
 
Yep. But sometimes that's easier said than done.

Trev April 23, 2007 12:40AM
Hmmmm, I totally agree with what you said "What is the worst that can happen", but please understand the chances of a man striking out is at a higher percentile than a woman striking out. When a hot woman approaches a man he will entertain the conversation regardless if he is in a relationship or not. He will not be rude and just brush the woman off. Women on the other hand depending if they have a dude will not even have the courtesy to at least entertain the conversation. I feel that a well put together woman will succeed 90% of the time if she approaches a man, so woman should try.


I also agree with Trev he made a good point. We should come together and develop a signal that will alert the opposite sex that their is an interest. Flashing hair could be your hair is on your face, licking your lips could mean your lips are dry, flickering your eyelashes could mean your contacts are bothering you...list goes on.

Computer Guy April 23, 2007 08:00AM
 
I'm ready to start writing the guide of signals when you are...

Trev April 23, 2007 12:26PM
Haha, well you do have a good point there. And feel free to send me the guide when you are done with it...

hmmm April 23, 2007 07:56PM
Hmmmm,

If we send u the guide then u will have to use it. Maybe we could market it Trev and make some money off it. "The International Signal Guide", or "Everything you wanted to know about Signals".

Computer Guy June 06, 2007 09:31AM
I don't approach guys very often. I don't have enough confidence to do it because I'm not approached a lot. But, I've been told that I am intimidating. I'm a sweet little thing and I don't know how I could possibly be intimidating. So what does intimidating mean? What are guys intimidated by?

dreamsincolor June 19, 2007 10:14AM
 
When a guy says you're intimidating, it might mean they think you're out of their league. Or, it could mean they're (we're) wusses and they (not me) want a woman who doesn't speak.

Trev June 19, 2007 12:12PM
 
Really?? Wow, that's pretty awful. I had no idea some guys did that. In their cases, I'm happy to be passed up. Thanks for the reply.

dreamsincolor June 19, 2007 03:14PM
Plain and simple beautuful woman who have everything going for them do not approach men regardless if the guy is handsome or not so handsome. I guess why shoud they if they know they are so sellable. I think woman who are making six figures and driving a range would not even give a guy a chance who may be driving a Chrysler and making $40K. The thing is well put together ladies automatically have an agenda when they see u coming. They will look at your shoes, clothes, walk, smile, sometimes they have x-ray vision and can see ur wallet and all that determines on how the woman will respond to you.


Funny thing is I have been all over the world and I have met controllers, VP's, Presidents of large company's who wear jeans and shorts to work, they only dress up if need be. Does that mean if they were to approach a well off career oriented lady they would not get the time of day??

I commend Hali Berry regardless of her inentions in dating just as regular guy. I think a lot of ladies want to live the hollywood lifestyle and then when things do not work out they have no idea why.

I think it is possible for a lawyer to date a lawyer, a doctor date a doctor, but who will be the one to do the everyday stuff like cook and clean?

I just do not understand if a woman is well off and can buy herself anything she wants then should she not want someone just to love her who not only compliments her, but also completes her? A dude who will make her breakfast, cook dinner, help her with the cleaning and laundry.....

I believe it also depends on where u live the woman act different. I know in Cali and Toronto the woman "DO NOT APPROACH MEN", and woman who are well off will not even give you the time of day if they feel you are not on their level......

Love is not like how it was back in our parents days. Everything now is so materialistic.......If your not Living in a condo dwtn and drving a 7 series your not sellable.

I am guilty in the sense I like HOTT ladies, but I like a HOTT lady who compliments her beauty with brains and ambition...is there such thing...lol?


Ciao~

Computer Guy July 17, 2007 10:46AM
More to add.....

I think every dude wants to be at work thinking of their wife, watching the clock just to get home to see her in yoga pants, or VS...We are fooling ourself to think looks it not important....

Looks is what draws us to each other. You will rarely ever and I will bet the $50 bucks I have in my pocket find that a woman regarless if she is average or nice does not use looks as a determning factor.

Men are so different b/c a woman could be not so nice, average, or hot and we will still entertain the conversation....woman need to try that.

If the guys peronality is amazing you may not even remember he does not look like Brad Pitt.....

Ok, I am done now.......



Computer Guy July 17, 2007 10:57AM
I agree with your posts Computer Guy. Being somewhat shy myself, I have a hard time approaching women in general but what makes matters worse is that I am terrible at reading signs.

I can't tell if a girl is looking at me showing interest or if she is simply just looking around and I happen to look at her as she is looking at me.

Friends have told me that I should smile more if I'm interested in a girl and that I should gauge her reaction but then I can't tell if they just think I'm being friendly but not necessarily am interested.

smithy July 19, 2007 11:20AM
Smithy I hear you man......

Shy guys miss out on a lot of opportunites. On Sunday I saw this hot lady she smiled at me but I did not know if she was being nice or she wanted to talk.

Some women are friendly so they will smile at you, some may think your cute but they want nothing to do with you....it's hard to tell man.

That is why Trev and I are going to write a book on signals that woman give out.

People say what's the worst that can happen when you approach a woman....I understand that but it is easier said then done.

The worst is when u really see a lady u like, u approach her and she gives u a crushing blow.

I think woman need to understand that a guy can be hot but shy. Not ever good looking guy is a hunter, some are very introverted and some woman think b/c a good looking guy does not approach them, their not interested or they must have a girl or two.

I dunno maybe we can start a new topic "Do woman prefer shy men or aggressive men in the intial meeting".....

Computer Guy July 23, 2007 10:34AM
i agree with most of what you guys said... if a woman approaches a man most of the time he will keep the conversation going. Getting turned down just flat out sucks and is what scares me away

chupacabras September 24, 2007 09:17PM
I have approached men only to be turned down but that hasn't stopped me. It might slow me down a bit but hey, we only live once so we might as well enjoy what time we have.

stillooking September 30, 2007 09:54PM
From my personal experience I do not approach a guy to be honest because the fear of rejection. Also, you never know if they are taken and the few times that I have approached someone...and I am being exact..all 3 times, it ended up being a bad experience. So with that, it makes me feel, if they are interested they will approach me. Which then again, I know is wrong, because men have fears, nervous, afraid of rejection as well. So with that being said...I guess woman dont approach men for several reasons...mine is because first I am nervous and shy, and secondly fear of rejection. If anyone has any ideas I sure could use some...

ShrtSandra83 October 05, 2007 05:44PM
So, Computer guy...since you have so much confidence in yourself..could I see a pic of you? :) You can reach me at PurpleButterfly83 at sbcglobal.net

ShrtSandra83 October 05, 2007 05:53PM




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