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How do I tell a friend that's all he is to me?
I have a friend who I've been hanging out with quite a bit lately. I only see him as a friend, but I've been getting signals from him indicating that he'd like to be more than that. I saw him earlier today, and when we said goodbye, he kissed me on the cheek. I'm a very huggy and kissy person when it comes to my friends, so normally that wouldn't bother me. But, added to the other signals I've gotten from him, I think it might be a bit much. How do I bring it up to him A) without hurting his feelings, and B) in such a way that, if I'm wrong about how he feels, I don't embarass both of us? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. :)
 
Valkyrie August 07, 2007 03:56PM

5 comments
I've been in this situation before, and it can be difficult for sure. The solution I came up with was that I started talking about other guys that I was interested in around my "friend." I never really confronted the issue with him directly, which saved us both any embarrassment.... but if your guy doesn't take the hint, you may need to be more direct when the time comes.

yesiamjess August 07, 2007 11:55PM
I've definitely used jess' method before and it works like a charm, but i'd also be careful about being so huggy and kissy around your "friend." better to be sensitive about the problem than be your natural self and end up losing him as a friend.

Sassy Sarah August 08, 2007 09:58AM
Valkyrie, what did you end up doing?

yesiamjess August 15, 2007 12:09AM
jess,
I followed your suggestion and started talking about other guys when I talked to him. We also ended up having a conversation about the kiss on the cheek - he was afraid he had embarassed me, since it was when we were in the parking lot outside my work. I told him I wasn't embarassed, because I tend to be a huggy and kissy person with all my friends (trying to put the emphasis on the word friends). I haven't seen him in person since then. We've talked on the phone, and he seems to have backed off a little, but I don't think I've lost his friendship. Thank you to both you and Sarah for your suggestions. I really appreciate them. :)

Valkyrie August 15, 2007 04:14PM
I was once on the guy in this kind of a situation, and I had to have her tell me straight out that she didn't like me because I was too clueless and kept reading her wrong. Sometimes straight answers are the only ones that work. That's just my 2 cents.

bogietime September 19, 2007 11:07PM




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