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I can't stand it...
... when a guy sees me standing at a bar or walking down the street and says, "don't look so sad. smile!" FYI to all guys out there- it is an incredibly rude and disrespectful thing to say. Why don't you get it?
 
mp3er March 28, 2007 06:40PM

14 comments
Freshman year in college, I said something like "smile!" to a cute girl walking across the main green who I had a bit of a crush on. I thought I was being charming.

But she basically called me out on it and said just because she wasn't smiling AT ME didn't mean she wasn't happy. Ouch! I got it, and I've never said it again to any woman since.

Boo-Yah March 28, 2007 08:26PM
hmm...was it used as a pickup line? or more importantly, were you actually looking sad? if the smile phrase was used in a way to cheer someone up, i would smile. Guess it makes a huge difference in gender, huh... FYI to all girls out there, do tell us to not look so sad, and SMILE ;D

xD March 28, 2007 10:42PM
 
Well, even if it was used just as a way to cheer me up, it still comes off as insensitive. I mean-- and this is not even a joke--what if someone in my family had died recently? The point is that if I have a frown, I may very well have a reason. And, if you really want to make me smile, tell me a funny joke!

mp3er March 29, 2007 04:59PM
Oh- and, your FYI comment to girls is funny! why is it that guys don't care about this sort of thing but girls do?

mp3er March 29, 2007 05:26PM
 
Because we're happy when any girls say anything at all to us.

Boo-Yah March 29, 2007 07:18PM
 
hey! lets not come off as desperate...

xD March 29, 2007 07:32PM
 
You're right. My bad.

Boo-Yah April 01, 2007 01:43PM
to dearest mp3er, it might a gender thing. people generalize guys as the though ones and girls as sensitive. And for a guy to approach a sensitive girl with a frown and say, "don't look so sad. smile." Might very well be the limit of our sensitivity! Plus, I'm bad with jokes...I'll stick with 'smile!' and live with a slap in the face, with a confused look, screaming at the sky saying, "I thought I was being nice!"
knowing me, I'm pretty sure I'm wrong on this one, but my integrity is at stake so im sticking to it :P

xD March 29, 2007 07:45PM
I'm with mp3er. xD- you should watch out- my friend once punched a guy who said "smile" to her! OK, so she was drunk and had just broken up with her boyfriend, but fair warning...

tulip April 02, 2007 05:48PM
How about this: Instead of telling a girl to smile, why don't do you something that makes her smile?

Sassy Sarah April 04, 2007 02:38PM
 
ohhhh great point Sassy!! That would be so much nicer than being told to smile, especially if telling a girl to smile is the first or one of the early things you say to her. Really, when you tell someone to smile, you are telling them something you don't like about them.

Also guys, consider this...I know a girl who has a neurological disorder that freezes the muscles in her face and she is incapable of a smile. Imagine how that must feel - to want to smile but being unable to. So, even though you mean it in jest or as a "thoughtful" thing to say, it really is insensitive. Besides, I can't think of a single time I walked into a room or club full of guys and they were all smiling. So, why do women have to constantly smile? We women have a wide gamut of emotions, thoughts and reactions - we are human. Let us be, and I'm sure the smile that you get will be genuine and natural, instead of fake - like smiling on command.

smalltowngal April 04, 2007 04:28PM
 
Well, Not really....smalltowngal. (when you tell someone to smile, you are telling them something you don't like about them) I guess I think that because I am basically always a "happy-go-lucky" kinda gal, and I pretty much smile at everyone and give them bright eyes, if you aren't smiling, I'd like to make you feel 'loved' by someone or 'wished a really good day' by someone and say 'smile!'.....but maybe you are right. What if they are having a really really bad day and some happy idiot comes by showing her Julia Roberts smile and saids, "smile!" and they get a 'go to hell' look or something. If it were me, I'd just say, "Awe.....they must be having a bad day" We all know that smiles are contagious, and you don't have to ask them to smile back at you, but you can smile your happiest smile at someone and you may never know the difference you made in that moment for them.

SMILE!!! lol!


Tamollie42 April 28, 2007 02:34PM
I hear ya! I don't like the phrase much myself...but to be honest, it does make you think twice about how you look without knowing it. Sometimes we ALL have this look. But coming from a guy, it feels a bit offensive, I understand. You're thinking, "buddy, if you think I'm cute and want me to smile, then just say I'm cute!". lol....btw: I smiled when I wrote that! :)

L April 06, 2007 07:28AM
I've been told that and I always take that as the guy wanting to see me smile and doesn't know me so he's not sure what will make me smile. Cause usually when a guy says it to me something in their tone tells me that he's only trying to be nice. I think I've been told that before and it came off kind of harsh, but generally I think of it as a nice thing, respond to it, and smile t, however I may not know what to say after. But I ususally give people the benefit of the doubt and believe that they were just trying to get me to smile. Also, it shows that that person looked at me, tried to read how I was feeling, and considered it enough to try to get me to smile. But I do agree, it's much more effective to get me to start talking to you if you say something that requires more of a verbal response.

dreamsincolor June 20, 2007 11:19AM




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